Thursday, May 26, 2011

9 days!!

Yes, 9 days....8 days and a wake up, barely over a week......Panic is in full effect!

I have mood swings like crazy these days, my diet is changing this weekend and I am freaking out over all of it.  I have had great days this week and then I have had the bottom of the barrel, crying jigs because I really think I have gone crazy! 

I really, really had no idea what I was getting myself into, I did not realize that I would be so crazy!  I am obsessed with the scale, getting on every night then again first thing in the morning to see the's stressing me out but I can't help myself!  I know I need to stop but I just can't.  I keep getting assured that I am right where I should be and that I look great - but I see fat...even though I know I am the smallest I have ever been (I mean really I know this- for the first time in my life the weight on my license and military id are incorrect in the wrong direction!)  None of my clothes fit, they all are falling off without a belt, I even have to keep pulling  my gym clothes up when I am working out - but still I see fat, it's on my hips, on my thighs and still on my arms - it's not going away.  So yes, it is official, I am crazy!

I had my final training session with Shelly today and it was bitter sweet...sweet because this is almost over...bitter because holy crap what am I going to do on my own for the week...I only have 5 more days to work out then that's it I'm down till after the show (and I can get a normal schedule going again)!  Tonight is my final posing class then it's all on my own - doing it right or doing it wrong, it's all me...I'm my own worst enemy these last few days and I know it.  I am going to yell at myself - my mental game is going to have to kick it up a notch as I will only have the strength of my mind to get me through (and to hold my food down...cream of wheat this next week and all I can put on it is stevia and cinnamon...somehow I just don't think that's going to be very appetizing - the highlight of my diet next week?  I get fruit back!  A grapefruit but hey it's fruit!)  So, if I thought I was using the mental part of the game before, I was way off - it will be high this week!

It's Memorial weekend and normally I would be excited about it - beach, bbq, a few drinks, friends....all sounds great right?!  well I am excited about it but not because of those things - I am excited about it because we have a typhoon headed our way and so that means that I get to stay home, not have to worry about the temptations out there and  only have to worry about the kids getting cabin fever...and of course getting my workout in!  Should be fun. 

So, this last part of prep should be interesting, I have a busy week even though I am supposed to be taking it easy...I will start this weekend with the teeth whitening, I will have my trays on every night to sleep in so they can be most effective...then I will start to exfoliate every day, get my skin to be fresh and new to start the spray tanning process...before I can get my first spray though I have to completely strip my body of hair from the shoulders down....yup, no arm hair, no leg hair, no peach fuzz on my belly nothing...that should be fun!  I also have to stop wearing deodorant beginning Tuesday as it will leave a funny ring or not look right or something or other with the tanning product.  I have to eat fish for breakfast a few days - yes, you know you want to share with me.  And, all the rest of the things's nearing the end of the school year so in addition to my contest prep, I also have school functions - So, yes, I am as always the busy busy bee but am planning now on scheduling naps each day - even if I don't fall asleep, I will have it scheduled in to put my feet up and not think of anything. Ahhh I am looking forward to that!

So my schedule these last few days:
Friday Night - last posing
Saturday - rest day
Sunday - early morning cardio then weights and posing on my own mid morning
Monday - early morning cardio then weights and posing on my own mid morning
Tuesday - early morning cardio then weights and posing on my own mid morning
Wednesday - Weights and posing on my own morning w/photo shoot, pedi at 10:30, Awards ceremony 6:00p competitor meeting 7:00p
Thursday - weights and posing on my own, hair cut and color 10:00,  first spray tan 3:00
Friday -    rest day - spray tan 11:00
Saturday - rest day - spray tan 11:00, final body fat and weigh in 2:00, manicure 3:00
Sunday - at the gym 5:00 am hair first, spray tan 5:30, make-up 6:00, final touch hair 7:00.  8:00 transport to theater for check in and meeting 9:00...Pre-judging begins 10:00   go home and rest for a bit then back to gym at 4:00 to touch up tan, hair and make-up...6:00 night show.
Monday - after photo shoot

So lots and lots of exciting things are continuing to happen.  Thank you all of you who have supported me and continue to support me.  I will be posting more this week - most likely tomorrow with my final before and after pictures! This really has been an interesting road and I am overall a better person for it...I just can't wait to getting my real self back and lose this crazy lady ;)

So I leave you with Today's Quote of the Post:
"Restlessness is discontent - and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man - and I will show you a failure."
- Thomas Alva Edison

I am by far thoroughly satisfied with myself - so I guess I can take satisfaction in knowing that I am not a failure.....push yourself to your goals, you really are happier because you can say I did it and gave it my best.


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